11.) Waiting by the mailbox

THE MONSTER OF SELF-PRIDE (LONELINESS, SELF-PIETY, LUST I have seen people put up with literal hell from someone just so they don’t have to be alone. People in the “churches” put up with all ungodly compromise and perversion of the truth because they just don’t want to be all alone. No words can adequately emphasize the blinding and driving powers of loneliness. God says all men “moan like doves” and “growl like bears”(Is.59:11). He says your groping is like a blind man trying to find a wall to guide him (v.10). People don’t think of loneliness and self-pity as rebellion but any inclinations which breed self-life are born of sin.
The walls of your nature are lined with the self-centered sadness Adam incurred as a result of being severed from God. The religious hype or social laughter you might find for a night is forgotten by the next morning. Every day you wake up with a nature hoping and yearning to be loved in some special way. This is not some unique personality flaw. You are simply bearing the consequences as a son or daughter of Adam and Eve. It might be the hope of getting a letter in the mail, consciously or subconsciously, you are craving someone to care about you. It is like waiting by the mail box and the postman never coming.
Your moment by moment disposition is a disaster looking for anything to soothe your inner anguish of loneliness (Ps.38:4,8,18). It can drive you into all manner of sexual immorality, rage, or self-pity. No matter what anyone tells you this nature can NEVER be satisfied (Eccl.1:8)! Not before you know Christ. Not after you know Christ.
 God never promised to satisfy the lonely inclinations of fallen flesh! When Adam rebelled, his heart was severed from the life-line of God’s communion and it sent him spinning into unimaginable, preposterous, lunacy and insanity. And this garbage remains embedded in your adamic nature today, 10,000 years later!
 Loneliness is the most grievous outcome of sin because the essence of God’s desire in creating man was to share His love in divine companionship. Adam lost this divine friendship forever and your conscience tells you it can never be recovered. This grief festers within even though you may never identify it as such. Your conscience tells you that you can never bring fulfillment within yourself, but your pride refuses to listen and drives you on in this mad hope to find love.
There are times when I become so aware of the loneliness in my nature if feels like a beast within me is crying out to be fed. The adamic nature howls deep within like a dog in the moon light. It is not a personality trait. It is a trait of the nature severed from the Creator. It is not Michael’s ways. It is Adam’s ways. It can drive you to the heights and depths of misery.
It can drive you to buy totally useless things. You look to a new house, car, stereo, shirt or garden hose to make your life happier. Something, anything to give a break to the terrible monotony and routine of your miserable life. Sin can cause you to drive around in your car trying to make useless things seem useful, or to always stay home feeling like a useless thing.
This is the SIN NATURE OF ALL MEN. The ‘churches” and “experts” say you should be “happy” and pretend this doesn’t exist.9 They say our inward torment is a result of some personality flaw or lack of faith. NO IT IS NOT! It is a result of Adam’s sin. It is a result of not understanding the bizarre predisposition of Adams nature.
A little “sinners prayer” does not extract or remove it. People fill the churches claiming to be in pursuit of “fellowship” when all the while they are being blindly driven by the man who deceives the whole world. As your nature of sin is exposed you must either declare war or watch this enemy destroy your life. You are fighting against a REAL BEAST not a theory or exaggerated doctrine:   “… And the great dragon was thrown down, the serpent of old who is called the devil and Satan (Abaddon, Apolloyon (Rev.11:9,11,9:11)