"Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies it remains alone,
but if it dies it bears much fruit"(Jn.12:24).
Beyond the superficial ebb and flow of life, there exists a deeper reality. Everyone knows it but no one wants to deal with it. Everyone wants to "play games" pretending everything is just fine while deep inside they pine away in depression, regret and fear. The content before you is my attempt to dig into the depths of this reality in light of God's profound but very practical answer.
I was just a typical phony. In college I had a tough guy image but on the inside I was quite alone in my sadness. Like everyone I used booze and drugs to escape the inner misery. Then, a season of deep searching rewarded me with things I never knew existed. I was a mere grain of wheat, all alone, and quite useless. I remember the place and time I read this one verse that was as reading a book of the most profound revelation. This verse is John 12: 24-25. At first it scared me but as I soon began to discover, there was nothing to fear.
I was just a typical phony. In college I had a tough guy image but on the inside I was quite alone in my sadness. Like everyone I used booze and drugs to escape the inner misery. Then, a season of deep searching rewarded me with things I never knew existed. I was a mere grain of wheat, all alone, and quite useless. I remember the place and time I read this one verse that was as reading a book of the most profound revelation. This verse is John 12: 24-25. At first it scared me but as I soon began to discover, there was nothing to fear.
Traversing the Stairs
The following things are not pleasant but necessary to recognize the absolute depravity of our humanity. I deal with things like everyone else, I do not live in a cave or a monastary, but I have discovered the key to learn these things is to understand them in the context of being born again and walking in the Holy Spirit.
When I was a child I was afraid of going in our cold and dark
basement. I would run as fast as I could to get something my mom would ask for.
The ghosts might get me. A huge sigh of relief greeted me at the top of the
stairs as I entered the light of our kitchen.
It is my hope that by
“traversing” the stairs of reality, between the dark truths of our sin, and the
hope in God’s grace and redemption, you will find the understanding that King
David describes in Psalm 51. He says “my sin is ever before me” (Ps.51:6).
It’s amazing how different the basement
was when all the lights were turned on....
My purpose is to write, not with
lofty and theological terminology but with ‘childlike’ simplicity deriving all
things from the Holy Scriptures. The requirement is not a secret knowledge but
rather THE WILL to understand. As you read you will find yourself, at times,
being irritated. You will think I am attacking you. I am not. I am attacking
the nature of sin within you. I am
trying to help you to “see” the monster of sin and make the separation
necessary to have discernment between soul and spirit (Heb.4:12). I have the awkward task, similar to poking in the
darkness in order to expose the tiger hiding. (It is worth to take the time to
research the Scriptures in parentheses to gain a deeper light into these
issues).
Hitler and the German SS did not
come from the planet Mars. They were born from the seed of Adam, like you and I. One account of this war describes the scene in the Dachau concentration camp
when the allies burst through the gates and freed Jewish prisoners.
This is not a warm and fuzzy
writing to make you “feel good about yourself”. It is not trying to teach you
how to influence people and win friends. Such books can be found at any local
religious or secular bookstore. My purpose is to help someone find real answers
to the devastating struggles that hide deep within each of us.
You must get beyond something no
one is willing to mention let alone deal with; SIN! It is something within our
DNA that no one can understand.
We’ve all heard preachers rant
and rave about sin while quoting Scripture verses. The pride and greed that
radiate from them expose their own blindness to the very thing they condemn.
For some twenty years I was taught that the only
answer to sin is forgiveness. The only other alternative, offered by the
religious systems, seemed to be a kind of moral self-righteous idealism and
hypocrisy. Just pretend that you are a “good” person. There are levels and
categories of sinners. If you never killed anyone then you are better than
those that did, etc.
Thus I remained a slave to sin like all men. This book
answers the practical issues of sin and how to access the power over it. The
revelation Paul lays out in his letters, concerning the Law verses faith in
Christ, explains exactly how one can walk in the marvelous revelation of the
resurrection. Sin has come from the past and destroys God’s intended purpose
for each man.
The only hope is to put forth the required to effort
understand God’s Word.
Here then is the test. Many
people only want information bent to their own desires. Will you attack the
messenger or deal with the message? The response to the gospel is not with the
one who delivers the message but with the free will of the one who receives it and
chooses how to respond(Matt.13:1ff).
As you read, stop and ask the Holy Spirit for
“light” to understand and implement these things.
When I use the term “people” it
will be most helpful to you to consider this term as referring to you
specifically and not some strangers “out there”. Humility is a secret power to
unlock the “mystery of lawlessness” (SIN) and the Mystery of Christ (2Thes. 2/ Col. 1: 27, 2:2/ Eph. 1:9, 3:3,
9/ Mk. 4:11/ Mt.13:11 /6:4, 6,18). For once you replace your pride with deep relationship, "Wala!" you eliminate the problem and receive the capacity to live in joy. Jesus warned that these things are “hidden” from the proud and revealed only to
mere babes (Matt.11:25).
Like any medical procedure, the cure is totally dependent on the consistency of application by the patient.
Chapter 1
BRINGING THE INSIDE OUT… INTO HISTORY
Events in history serve as
windows of insight into the real essence of human nature in all of us. People
are aghast over the depravity of men as seen in the arena of crime and war. People
love sensational headlines about outrageous behavior. They quickly judge while
condemning anyone who judges them. People say “How could they do such a thing?
It is not in my personality to do such a thing”. People jump at any chance to
feel better than others.
I majored in Psychology in
college and was taken in by the psycho-babel that compartmentalizes a person by
a fixed analysis of their actions. The “Dr. Phil’s” of this world define an
individual by analyzing thoughts and behavior. Once a person participates in
“abnormal” behavior he or she becomes a classified personality. According to
God’s Word this is absurd!
There are no alien beings walking
the earth. We are all of the same human nature. The key to finding answers is
to understand the difference between the personality and the humanity of an
individual. We develop our personality. We inherit our humanity. Sin is not in
our personality. It is not something unique to an individual. Sin is in our
humanity. We are born into the nature of sin from Adam and Eve. This is why, by
taking on our humanity, Jesus could bear all sin once and for all. Sin is in
our DNA. Our personality has nothing to do with it. So before we venture to the
dark basement of human nature it is extremely important to realize CHRIST
OFFERS THE ANSWER!
People who have gone through a
divorce or devastating experience have seen something within themselves that
they never knew was there. Sin is surely a “Pandora’s Box”. Some spend the rest of their life trying to
figure themselves out; to recover some sense of sanity and composure from what
they have seen. They are caught up in the sin of their humanity while thinking
there is something wrong with their personality. This is Satan’s plan!
The behavior seen, on both sides
of any war, is behavior latent in the fallen soul of all of humanity. When the
first American soldiers began to invade Germany they were stunned to see
thousands of corpses stacked like piles of wood. When they arrived in the camps
and opened the doors of the barracks they found people literally drowning in
their own excrement. Many of them would throw up, weep or become enraged to
discover the atrocities of these death camps.
Their minds just could not
conceive of how highly intelligent and educated German men could produce such
heinous “creativity” so as to; build fake shower rooms that had pipes flowing
with deadly gas instead of cleansing water, create a very developed art world
using human skin and bones to make household decorations or use starvation to
train killer dogs for a sport where
young children were chased and torn to shreds.
I clearly remember when I visited
the death camp memorial in Israel
reading the sign above the door as you leave. It stated that it would be a
terrible mistake to think that such horrendous acts were relegated to a fixed
time in the past when in reality such potential remained in each man. Wow!
It doesn’t require spiritual
revelation to recognize these things I write but rather sincere honesty. The
most disturbing consideration of all this behavior is that it was not done in a
spontaneous reaction or impulsive moment. These events continued over years!
They required intense planning, the involvement of a tremendous work force,
equipment and expensive investment. There is no place to say “It was just an
accident”.
An American officer recounted how when these
Jews discovered that they were now the ones in control, and the guards, who had
been torturing them for years, were not their prisoners, and standing only a
few feet away , seized upon them and
tore them to pieces with their bare hands. The American officer said he
couldn’t figure out how the guards ended up being killed in such a grotesque
manner being that the Jews had no weapons just their bare hands. The very
behavior which was labeled an atrocity was now being exemplified by the Jews
towards the Germans. The victims became the predators and the predators became
the victims. The nationality was different but the nature the same.
I recently caught the middle of a
news clip on a TV where a certain family was dancing around in a somewhat giddy
king of mood and shouting with joy. I wondered if they had just won the
lottery. Then I heard who they had just received the verdict of the electric
chair for a man that killed their father!
They were terribly concerned that
the man would only get a life in prison. Their delight to watch a man being burned
alive, from the inside out, was not some impulsive reaction. They spent much
thought, time and energy pleading with the judge for the electric chair. The
real issue here is not that this person “deserves justice” because what happens
if soon afterwards he is found to be the wrong
man?! Thus such desires only expose the blinded and demented nature of hatred
and evil in all men. The claim for “justice” is nothing more than the guise and
license for vengeance.
It is faith in Christ that assures true
justice can only come about from His hand.
I have seen the look of many Vietnam
veterans who had their souls devastated at an early age by beholding the
phenomenon of “the mystery of evil” (2Thess.2:7).
They never intended to see what they saw but they could do nothing about
it. It doesn’t take many days on the battled lines of war to be overwhelmed by
the utter insanity of being in circumstances that force something out of you
that you never knew was inside of you.
Chapter 2
The presumption that there is a
clear differentiation between good and evil is slowly understood to be a total
farce. Imagine a young seventeen year old boy whose favorite past-time, up
until a few years earlier, was riding his new bike. He is now entrenched in a
Cambodian swamp land, as part of a vicious attack on a suspected enemy village.
Suddenly, out of desperation, he is forced to use his knife to slit the throat
of a man. He then sees the children of this father of a family standing a few
feet away screaming and crying. “What have I done?!” He is forced to face not
only the insanity of his mission but the insanity of his own evil nature
within.
Jesus cried “Father, forgive
them, they know not what they do…” (Luke.23:34).
I worked with a man who was drinking a fifth of vodka every night trying to
drown the memories since he just returned from Vietnam.
Human nature is like a doubled-edged sword. When it is fully unleashed
against others it is then, at that same time, destroying the psyche of the one
who wields it. When your sinful nature drives you to do what you have never
done, it destroys every image of who you thought you were. You are left to
resolve your identity all alone. You think that no one else would do what you
have done but everyone could do worse than what you did.
It is at this very point where
Satan tells you to blame God for allowing you into this mess or for allowing
the world to be in such a mess. You think that surely God could never forgive
you because you KNEW it was terrible. Yet it is our responsibility to discover
that the predicaments of this world are a direct result of it belonging to
Satan not God (1 Jn.5:19). It is the sin
within your humanity that was unleashed. Your hope lies in the fact that God
has already documented the despicable state of men in this world long before we
were ever born (Is.59:1ff). Despite this,
God’s profound mercy offers complete healing and redemption for one who humbles
himself and believes Christ.
I saw an original film of
captured German SS officers. The looks on the face of these particular guards
was utterly amazing. It was not a look of defiance or fear. They were looking
at each other like someone who had just been awakened from a very, very deep
and bizarre dream. They were stunned. It was not a defensive or denying manner.
It was like they REALLY COULD NOT BELIEVE what they had been doing all those
years.
They were so deep-rooted in a
conspiracy they were convinced it was reality! It is the same look as seen on
some serial killers who have been yanked out of their binge of depravity and,
over a period of time, are forced to, once again, align their minds with a
civil and moral atmosphere. This grabbling for sanity is like falling in a
black bottomless hole. There is no place of reality. The self-image you have
grown up with is suddenly shattered and you are left with nothing but the
devastating awareness of you evil. The experience of the German guards, the Vietnam
vets or the serial killer is no different from your experience of doing or
saying something you never imagined you were capable of.
It is the shock of seeing the
monster within. It is the “mystery” of lawlessness (ibid). You may exemplify a
far less barbaric version of hatred, torture and murder but the cesspool of
human nature is the same source for all your sin. Depending on the
circumstances you incur in life will determine the degree of depravity you
manifest.
You do not comprehend the full
potential of your wickedness because natural pride is SO POWERFUL it repudiates
any real consideration of potential for or affiliation with such acts of evil. This
is why you must go to the ‘basement’. Self-righteousness is your reaction
against anything that is worse than what you have done. You can not
imagine doing vile things…unless…you are willing to traverse the stairs of reality!
If you were totally isolated in
an atmosphere where fear and intimidation threatened you very existence, and
your single hope of survival was conformity, only then would you see what is
really inside of you. If you were trained from birth, by the majority, and
offered power, popularity and reward in exchange for your conformity you would
be; indeed, you have been, proven to be no different than any one else.
The German youth did not have a
mental framework “If I can just hold out from participating in this evil for
six years, then the war will be over”. They saw there future existence totally
dependent on, and determined by, their present actions. They were caught up in
the moments of time.
It is very easy to sit back and analyze
and rationalize things in a mental framework were everything is hypothetical. Without any risk to your
self-image, you can comfortably insist on some quality of goodness.
You may go to your church on Sunday.
You do nice things for others. You may know the Bible. But at some time, some
where, the Holy Spirit has shown you a depraved wickedness that has the same
potential as the worst serial killer. So there is no place for self-righteousness.
Jesus says “Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy” (Mt.5:7). I don’t rely on my experience to know
my potential for evil. I know my sinfulness because the Ten Commandments show
it to me. I CAN not be good no matter
how I try. I must believe in God’s provision of Christ for my sin. The subtle,
and lingering, inclinations, and instincts, of my conscience, and nature bear
witness of my evil.
I am a desperate and wicked
sinner capable of horrendous atrocities. This is not my personality. It is my
humanity. I must bring the sin hidden within my humanity out into the open of
God’s light. It is my only hope for freedom from madness (Jn.8:32ff). I had to declare war on this enemy.
I had to give it to the cross of Christ so that it could be crucified with Him (Gal.2:20).
Otherwise it would have destroyed my life. Through the knowledge of
God’s Word I am now “set apart” from the black hole of insanity. I do not try
to understand or explain it. I simply believe. I have since discovered a totally
new “resurrection nature” (1 Cor.15:45). I
am able to face the “serpent” of sin because of faith in the death and
resurrection of Jesus Christ (Ps.51:3/ Jn.3:14/ Num.21:9).
For the majority it can start by some intense level of stress from a job or marriage. Mental “illness” is simply the breakdown of one’s mental capability to cope with life situations in a reasonable manner. It is developed over time. The fact is ALL MEN have some degree of mental illness. God says the heart of mankind is “desperately sick” (Jer.17:9). People say“ Oh everything is fine” when in reality their life is a nightmare. Their past was a disaster and they are about to ruin their future. Yet they cannot find the help they need because pride won’t let them find the solution of humility.
This world esteems the pride of man. This mentality is called SIN. It is deeply engrained in us from birth. God did not create a human being with the capacity to deal with PRIDE thus chaos is the norm of an unrepentant life. When Adam and Eve sinned they corrupted mankind with the demonic enigma of SIN. The Bible records all the devastating consequences of man trying to deal with SIN over generations of time.
A terrible event in Tucson, Arizona brought nationwide attention to mental illness. Lest anyone think this was a problem with one isolated individual CBS NEWS reported that 80,000 people in this one city suffer from it. That is one third of the population! There are various levels of mental illness and our intention is to allow for the fact that some most assuredly have complex origins in need of complex answers. However for the great majority the answer is within reach. Do you really think all these people were born with genetic disease of mental illness?
I wonder how long I got before I turn into a human icicle? |
If a person subjects himself to freezing cold temperatures without proper clothing it is most likely this person will get sick. Likewise, mental illness will occur, at some level, when a person refuses to humbly deal with the reality of their situation.